Winter Conversations ..... Cold + Dark = Quiet Wisdom

Tonight a friend stopped in to talk.  It wasn’t a chat.  He needed to talk.  

He spoke about feeling lonely, not alone. He spoke specifically about feeling lonely. The lonely that happens when you make decisions that other’s might not agree on as the best option. The lonely that happens when after 10 minutes no one has texted or called. The lonely that occurs when winter hits and you cannot go outside.

The Lonely ~ the lonely that hits even when you are surrounded by a dozen friends, in the company of your life partner, when you sit in a meeting of peers at work, the lonely that hits when your family doesn’t see you.  It is the lonely that happens at birth and arrives to finally meet you at death. It is the lonely that is the ‘curse’ of being human in the current world. Let’s be honest the lonely that has been here for generation after generation.  It is the lonely that drives us to kill not only each other but also this planet and its animals.  Those animals we are jealous of because they do not know loneliness.  The dogs, cats, wolves, deer, eagles, elephants, and other animals that understand aloneness + community does NOT = loneliness.

Right now we are all feeling alone in America. Many can raise their hands high in acknowledgement that NO one has heard them for years.  They may never admit they are lonely. They will stand tall + swagger but we can all see past the veneer. This hoopla around our next President isn't the cause only the visible ulcer.  This goes far deeper and wider.

Loneliness is personal and universal.  We came in alone by not lonely.  We will die alone yet it we don’t have to be lonely.  

Loneliness is driven by the denial of self value. Our current culture (especially western white culture) does not nurture a whole self identity. It does not understand the value of the connection to our inner self. Because of this it perpetuates the denial of the value of Community as nurturer and the self within that community. The Quakers used the identifiers of Thee and Thou to bring inclusion into the self thus creating the understanding of the value of self within the community.  Many religious practices exclude self, deny the value of nurturance, and through the exclusion create a community of loneliness.  

Standing Rock exposes the loneliness within our culture. As a cultural phenomenon to the western world, Standing Rock shows how the acceptance of the value of self within a community through ancestral spiritual practices of inclusion, loneliness is removed and courage, integrity, self love, and the ability to value all life is expressed in daily interactions.  

We are not all of First Nation blood so what could my friend do to help embrace his loneliness?  

There are options available ~ A spiritual practice to quiet the mind and connect the higher self to him. A spiritual practice that allows for interaction between the higher self and him releasing the long held generational beliefs. A spiritual practice that gives value to community.

A willingness to say I no longer want to exclude myself.  A willingness to see the pain of loneliness in others, especially those we believe are not lonely. 

A clearer understanding of the concept “we create our experiences” and it is within our control to banish or build all aspects of our life.

Finding his ancestral spiritual lineage.  

There are many other options available to grasp the loneliness we experience. Each are individual as to their benefit.  There is no One Size Fits All.  I suggested he try many different avenues to find the right fit. The one that draws him, intrigues him.  Intrigue will fuel his desire to embrace his loneliness. His loneliness, when embraced, will bring to the world compassion and right action.

The dark, cold winter is designed for reflection. It doesn’t allow distractions to take our pains away. It refuses to hear the excuses and demands we find the courage to take a stand. Winter is our best ally in forming our convictions. If you can turn and face the adversary in the dark + cold, you can face them in light and ease.

No one is ever alone. There may be times when you feel loneliness. Remember many are here with you right now in this moment. Shine brighter.

Traveling on,
Teri ~ The Soul Traveler

I once hated it too.... And now ?

Yes I once hated winter!  The howling wind, the soft freezing snowflakes, the long dark days, and the harsh relentless cold.  I froze from September to mid-April.  Depression only lifted when the chinooks started to blow.  I gained a minimum of 5 pounds + looked like a shriveled up old lady in my 20's from trying to keep myself warm.  I lived in the winter sunbelt of Colorado and still couldn't find anything wonderful about winter.  One long cold evening walk from work, as I shivered my way down the final street, ice forming on my eyelashes, I made a promise to the god above who was withholding all my joy, to never again complain about winter, to never WHINE again if he would just bring spring back!  He kept his part of the bargain with early chinook winds in March and I kept mine.  I never complained in fear of retaliation.  But it didn't really stop me from hating winter.

I took my frustrations out on autumn.  You know those warning months of whats to come ~ splendor that hides the truth!  Depression crept into my life each Labor Day.  I began squirreling away sweaters, marshmallows, & heavy socks.  The thought of overcoats on top of Halloween costumes scared the beejesus out of me.  But I never complained once about winter. NEVER!

For some reason newly acquired friend I was to discover was in love with autumn or fall as we say here in the West.  I listened aghast as she delighted in all the changes occurring.  Finally summoning my courage I asked her why she loved fall and not my favorites spring or summer.  I stood stunned as she regaled fall's attributes and slammed my beloved twins (well cousins) spring + summer.  I scoffed at her and secretly went home to contemplate her words.

Finally years later I understood the why and how of Earth's seasons.  Clarity shined on the deeper truth in my vow of No Whining.  Something that had completely escaped me for decades. I felt and understood my friends love for autumn and the beauty it held.  She opened my eyes to something deeper than just the leaves changing, the scent of wood burning, the harvesting of the summers bounty.  I discovered the wisdom in all the seasons, not just my beloved spring + summer.

The true test was could I find that same love in the long dark drawwwwn out months of winter?  Could I welcome winter with the same zest I welcomed spring?  Was I willing to really let the truth, the soul truth, strike open my heart for winter?  It took time.  Yet I finally let winter show me her splendor and wisdom.  

No, I don't rush to the ski slopes each year, those days are long past.  I don't frolic in the deep snow and dream of sipping hot cocoa.  I do listen quietly as the bitter cold moves into the land.  I watch as the birds battle against the harsh wind and wonder about the symbology.  I delight in the blast of frozen air each time I open the door, gasping in surprise.  Bundled up in layers I walk daily returning to shelter with a glimpse of new knowledge of my world + me.  

I have come to realize that I make my experiences great or small.  It is my ability to accept myself leading me to accepting my outside world that brings joy or peace.  Don't get me wrong I still shiver for 5 months out of the year but I don't harbor resentment towards Winter.  Nature's personalities are but reflections of the world she watches over.  Storms rage to bring us deeper into ourselves and show us where we may be stuck whining and not changing.  Sun shines welcoming us to open to who we are.  Rain nourishes the land reminding us to take time to nourish our world, our soul.  Drought reminds us that often what we love can be lost.  There is so much symbolic expression in our seasons.  Just like each season there isn't a one-size fits all explanation for the messages being delivered. 

I still don't complain about winter.  I promised 40 years ago and I don't break my promises.  Each season brings with it very different expressions.  Just like the barometer tells us the changes in weather, how I respond tells me where I am in my heart.  

Look deep into all our amazing seasons.  Find the message hidden in plain sight for you.  Welcome that message into your home, give it a cuppa, and hear the words.  Wisdom isn't always hidden, it is only waiting for us to see with plain eyes.

Traveling on xoxo

The Soul Traveler

After the Mist ....

For 5 days we have had rain and more rain and low clouds with the sun refusing to shine daily except for one bright Wednesday morning for exactly 2 hours followed by a deluge of rain for 24 hours.  This isn't a normal phenomenon here.  Yes, June can be a very rainy month but this isn't the Pacific NW and the sun generally rules the day.  

For me, the symbol searcher and metaphor masher, I found myself reflecting on this pattern for insight into the bigger picture.  Refusing to dwell on the obvious of "not more rain" coupled with the pouty "I want sunshine" I found myself investigating my true reaction to this turn of weather.  

Coupled with the Full Moon where I relished the release of what I perceived to be stumbling blocks I have been gifted with visitors to my humble abode.  This timing was perfect to help deflect any insights I felt would follow my full moon ceremony.  Spending time with friends is always motivating fun filled with opportunities to connect deeper.  It is also time that takes one out of your normal patterns and brings a smidgeon of chaos.  It is a time that asks you to connect on a deeper soul level with another human, another soul, another traveler bringing you to a new level of soul identity.

Sitting watching the mist swirl forth from my surroundings my soul nudged me to find my new soul identity and either claim it or not.  Could I really actualize and relish my new connections and identity?  Was I willing to leave behind a pattern of solitude?  Would this short time spent with others in my home and life open me to a better understanding?  Is the direction spent the last 7 months the only direction?

Garnering all my reflections, I realized soon I would be leaving the course of my life and embarking upon another direction, another journey that would lead me deeper into my soul identity.  This journey would include more interaction.  It would be filled with other soul travelers embarking on their new levels of identity.  My community was calling.  It was asking me to leave my pattern of solitude, my cave of reflection, and come forth out of the mist.

Was I up to this request?  Could I still set aside solitude, creation time, and be watchful of old patterning and denial?  As the mist moved up and out of my space I knew like it I was ready.  I could be the mist and its the aftermath, life.  

We are not defined by our patterns.  We are not defined by our friends, our body, our work, or our words.  Everything is fluid.  Everything is mist.  All life, all identity comes as mist and it is us who brings into the world.  We are the mist.  We form and swirl creating our life.  We are then asked to release and awaken into the light allowing it to feed us drawing us out of the separation.  It asks us to relish the time of the mist.  It asks us to be the time after the mist.

For me I know what time it is.  What about you?

xoxoxo

The Soul Traveler

A New Day Dawning

Whoa what a whirlwind month April has been for me!  Writing, writing, and more writing was the focus and the call.  Words tumbling out faster than I could type.  Thoughts lost in the dark recesses of my mind wiggling their fingers in a call for me to follow. I celebrated the completion of one writing commitment and said good-bye to another support to my writing.  It felt right as I came to the end of April and looked out across the expanse lying before me.

Giving myself permission to not write for a week, I found more than rest from the drive but also a newness dawning.  My head felt dusty and fallow.  It became apparent to me that a refreshing approach was needed.  In my resistance to pausing I found myself chastising what I assumed was laziness and a return to old patterns of not finishing projects.  Fortunately I flushed those mean words down the drain and carried on.

What began to unfold was another call to creativity.  This call had been pushed far back into the corner to allow for the blogging and book writing to take center stage.  There was real reluctance on my part to bring something new forward and not stay to the course.  Finally in a true fit of stubbornness, I took pen to paper and allowed the creativity on another project to begin.  It was deafening the sounds pouring out into the open.  The artistic side sauntered through on an afternoon breeze and created deeper focus for my writing and design work.  It really surprised me.  Advice that had been given affirmed the value of my pause.

It is a tricky place pattern breaking.  Those ways that we think have kept us safe and sane, when called to task, leave reluctantly.  After much practice they design new ways of adjusting falsely.   Our minds are grand instruments and when paired with ego develop an ability to fine-tune themselves into exquisite works.   These works trick us into thinking they aren't tied to ego or old patterns dressed up in different attire.  It is important to take pause, listen, and use discernment to identify the trickster.  As you move further into oneness with soul you will know the difference in the illusion and your ego will do overtime.  As frustrating as this may seem you should welcome the experience.  The more you can identify how your ego shows up the more you can step further into your true self.  Ego will never completely leave nor do we want it.  It will however learn its place in your life which is awakening.  Stripping the illusion away, having no opinion of the illusion, and still being in the illusion are skills that will be acquired as you continue to walk upon your path.  

Now May is almost over.   The writing that has taken place for me has been insightful.  My main character in my book is back and refreshed.  She has given me more to write and spurs me to tell her tale.  There are other stories developing.   This excites me to know the well is not dry.  I have found joy again in my blogging and spring is officially here in my piece of the world.  I have learned more about who and how and care less about the why.  The discovery of a new pattern to wash down the drain brings another level to my path.  

There is a new day dawning.  It comes quietly, renewed and welcomed.  There is a new level to me.  It comes quietly, simply, and unabashedly.  I understand my writing and a deeper me.  They are intertwined and have no pause to be iconic.  They just are.  I believe there will always be new days dawning.  It won't just happen to me.  They are there for all of us.  Enjoy them!

~The Soul Traveler