reflection

The Journey Continues .... and we all join

Wow what a year so far it has been for so many. 

So many significant events have come, gone and some still carry on, that the chaos of change has, and I think I can say honestly, all of us swirling!

Standing Rock called everyone out of the sleep! It asked us were we really serious about protecting this planet, our children and grand children, and standing on the brink for what we believed was true.  It also held up to us who we might be appropriating an expression of spirituality that wasn't ours. 

Black Live Matter showed us our privilege as a White race. It really asked us to own it or go home. 

The election of Donald Trump showed us how deeply asleep we were, how disconnected from each other, and asked us were we really serious about equality and freedom.

Still the journey continues and how are we going to travel? What is really important to you? Do you really walk your talk? Is your spirituality based on Indigenous tribes that aren't our ancestry? Is our privilege harming those we say we fight to protect?

Is love and light going to change the world? Is the love we say we offer strong enough?

Are we sharing and teaching from our ancestral medicine? Are we sharing and teaching to make a buck?  Is our wildness really ours? Is it really expressed? Do we own it?

These are questions that only we can answer. 

For me, I have focused my uncovering on my ancestral medicine. As I learn, I am finding that other memories, doorways, and mentors enter my life. My ancestral wisdom and healing comes flowing up into my consciousness. The unconscious patterns come forward. I have a choice to change them, create healing around them or embrace them as a way of being. There is a wisdom in the simple life they lived. Yes it was hard and often short but it was full and free. I am not naive enough to think the Irish famine was a walk in the park or any other hardship many of our ancestors experienced. Slavery certainly wasn't a joy. It was filled with violence and hatred.

Our ancestors did find a moment to love and feel joy. A human experience isn't without its pitfalls and persecutions. I do believe that they had a connection to the land that we only glimpse. They had a connection to a deeper story steeped in a sacred living. It was this deeper sacred story that helped them to wake each morning. It helped them to bring life into the world that was harsh. 

As I relinquish the many possessions in my life I find a simplicity. I have more time to be on the land whether it is in hiking or walking around town. I am in the world enjoying its various flavors and humans. My ancestral medicine contains within it a responsibility to protect, preserve, love, and relish the land, these crazy humans, and amazing animals. It is the combination of this spiritual ownership with the celebration of our value that brings about joy, strength and eventually change.

I would gladly go back to the Neolithic Age where we lived in communion with the land, people and animals. Where the magic of our life sustained us and helped to birth new life. When we looked to the Stars and knew we were connected to a greater expansive existence. When we didn't need to conquer in order to feel whole.

As white Europeans, especially Americans, we have lost our medicine. This loss has created a constant search for wholeness. Our souls ache, our bodies ache, our minds wander in search for the magic, the connection, and the communion our ancestors knew.

For me it is time to own the past, present and future darkness of hatred and greed as well as the lightness of the joys and love. 

Join me, there is room for all.

Traveling on ~

The Soul Traveler

Quiet or Quit ???

It has been quiet from my voice or have I quit?

I have been absent in the sense of the expected.  I have not been absent or quiet from the yearning, the learning, the living. Oh not at all!

Not being one who harbors unresolved explanations of the current situations to the extreme (HA what a mouth full) but one who tires others in my constant reflection (welcome to a Pisceans world), of how best to be, I must admit that the world carries on without us.

Like all of us I have been involved with the daily aspects of living.  Gratitude abounds for the myriad of interactions in my day.  Be it work, supporting clients, training for a 1/2 marathon, or the necessary gathering of food, bills, and housing, my day is often beset with distractions.  Being fortunate that alone time makes up most of my day, I can reflect upon the different ways to enrich my life.  

Growing up I would become overwhelmed quickly with any task that required complicated explanations of how to go about completing them.  In other words, I would go TWILT with too much sensory overload.  The simpler the explanation, the cleaner the directions, the quicker I accomplished the necessary steps and moved on.  I was besieged in school with the label of 'lacks the ability to follow directions'. Perhaps to them but I got everything done. Maybe not how they viewed it should be but I completed the requirements none-the-less.   

I had thoughts of quitting.  Silencing my voice so I fit in the crowd.  Giving in to the demands to do it their way to end the overload. What happened when I ventured to be just one-more female? It suffocated me and drove me to shrivel inside.  It left me frantic. I spent more time away from people, taking my introvertism deeper.  I wasn't happy and I began to dislike myself.

Without realizing it, I found ways to deflect the constant desire by the nun's and other adults for me to mold myself into their idea of how a young girl should be in the world.  It took me many years to learn that outbursts, no matter the reason, were not allowed in school, home or church. I found my escape outdoors. Creativity was flush out there away from the demands of the 'adult' world.  Over time I learned how and when to share my outbursts.  Slowly I discovered my way of being in the world.

Did I set out purposely, with a 10-point plan to recreate my world as it existed?  Can't say early on that I consciously did.  Because I was young and I listened to the sweet quiet voice that still spoke to me, I found I could sometimes boldly stepped forward.  When I couldn't hear the sweetness from my fear I became meek and frightened.  Whatever the situation, I moved forward, I never quit moving often swallowing my fear but moving just the same.  I might have been quiet, but there was a resoluteness to my daily step, a stubborn turn of my chin that rode on beside me bringing me to adulthood.

When you reflect upon your childhood, do you take the time to notice the courage, the desire, the divine spark that rested deep within you?  Or do you only remember the 'good' times and the 'disappointing' times?  Can you peak a little deeper into those moments?  Are you willing to honestly see the mixture of wisdom and cavalier spite? Try not to dissect to the point of no return in your reflection.  Do take the time to sift through the illusion of childhood.  Upon closer inspection is great wisdom working beside you to develop your soul path?  

We are not innocent bystanders in this journey.  We are constantly co-creating for our higher good.  Some of our creations we think may lack a bit of substance and appear to be better suited to the junk pile.  Look closer!  There is wisdom and empowerment in failure.  Take time to deeply reflect upon your childhood memories.  Yes there is sweetness but what else?  Can you see the wise one deep within?  Is what you remember after reflection useful today?  Have you forgotten that the connection you felt so freely to your divinity as a child is still accessible?  Can you bring that child's knowingness of their divinity to you today?  Take a moment and go back to that time when you knew without a doubt and reconnect.  Embrace you in that moment.  Give them a seat at your table.  Allow them to show you why they never doubted.  Laugh with them and feed your divine spark.

The stubborn turn of my chin has been a cornerstone to my soul path.  That stubborn marching child, refusing to give up her will, has walked me through many harrowing experiences, and allowed me to meet some of the most amazing souls this lifetime.  I can guarantee you, she ain't going nowhere soon!  How about you?

Oh the joys of ...Traveling on .....

Teri ~ The Soul Traveler

 

 

Sometimes ...

It has been a while since I have felt strong enough to write, not because I have been sick or frightened. Lately so much has been asked of me to contemplate, resolve, experience, rebuild, create oh hell just to be!

I often run from what Spirit asks of me.  Oh yeah, I do.  It becomes a game of hide and seek, you know that one we learned to perfection as children.  Little did we know it had a bigger purpose. HA!

It wasn't yesterday that I started on this journey of living my life how I wanted to live it.  Oh no, I have done tons and I mean tons of work on healing the wounding that took place in my 'growing up years' and even to today.  Yet I always knew that as damaged as society tried to make me think I was, I wasn't .... LOL not even.

One could go on about damage and loving yourself.  I could tell you stories that would raise your eyebrows but why?  We all hold stories of damage but we seldom share stories of recover of self. Why don't we?  No one comes out of this life not having experienced collateral damage. No one!  And all of us can discover our true self and the deep divine love held within that discovery.

We all can leave this lifetime with the understanding of and living from our true self.  I am not like you however I am exactly like you.  You bleed, I bleed. You cry, I cry. You get angry, I can get angry. I laugh, you laugh. I need, you need.  I am you, you are me!

Sometimes we are each other ~ laughing and crying. In our hurry to just Be, we forget to stop and let go.  We forget to see the other person.  Our reluctance to embrace self-love, self-acceptance, and self-nurturing builds a world around us that reflects the wounding from believing others opinions. From not believing in our ability to love and be the divinity we relish our world pains us.  

We are all gifted to understand the inner workings of the magic of life yet often we forget to see, hear, and reach out to those who know our value.  Inside there is an urging that says I am you, You are me!

On February 26, 2016, I turned 63 years old and at exactly 4:16pm MST I was gifted another birth certificate that said, "Congratulations you are an Irish citizen."  Think about it.

I am you reborn, You are me reborn.  There is always time for rebirth.

Let's celebrate!

Traveling on ~

The Soul Traveler

The Stillness that is the Harvest

Sometimes, when we really pay complete attention, we are gifted with a communion that takes us out of our daily existence and into the 'real' experience of life.  

Four summers ago I visited the Devoto Memorial Cedar Grove on Lolo Pass. This grove from the first moment I heard of it has been calling and gifting me deeply.  Each summer since hearing the first call, I have returned and included one good friend to travel the grove with me.  Each friend has experienced and brought to the Cedars' a much-needed piece.

My personal blend of sacred herbs & plants includes the cedar from this grove, my clearing tools include a large piece of bark from the Grandmother Tree magically shaped like a cedar feather fan.  Every trip has been blessed with a special harvest of needles and bark, wisdom and words, strength & courage leaving behind gifts of my love and respect.  These visits have been magic-filled.

In 2012 I was told not to go further than the first 10 feet which of course I gently challenged.  Here was my first opportunity to step into a forest filled with ancient ancestors only to be asked to leave. 

In 2013 hearing I needed to come and  harvest cedar for a special blend I was to make, we arrived and heard repeatedly 'NO not here’.  Finding nothing had fallen to the ground to gather we decided to head home.   Winding back over the pass I heard a loud "Pull off Here" command and found myself face to face with 3 large cedar trees standing with branches loaded and offering their needles for sacred use.  

Last summer brought me to the Grandmother Cedar.  She had fallen across the trail blocking access to the area where I usually make my offerings and sit to drum.  She beckoned me to lie upon her and be with her.  Feeling the life still beating within her and hearing her song as I lay there took me to a deeper understanding of the magic between trees and me, actually all of this planet and me.  I have always loved the place we call Earth.  I have ached for her and cheered with her, shed tears for her and rallied for her, knowing that she will always forgive and continue to offer love to us.  She has protected me and drawn me closer to my medicine ways.  She has taken me home through her night sky and brought me back with the waking sun.  Yet the visit last year laid me open.  It carved the path for me to really grasp what was to be shown in the months ahead.

Grandmother Cedar gifted me with memories and bark from her fallen trunk.  I took several pieces but stopped before she told me.  I stopped because I did not want to be a glutton.  This May as I prepared for my trip to Ireland & Glastonbury I gathered satchels of my sacred blend digging into my stash of cedar.  It became evident in my preparations that I would soon be out of cedar needles and would need to ask to come harvest in the grove.  As I visited Ireland I left offerings to the land and was gifted small pieces of the Irish landscape for the sacred grove here.  Glastonbury welcomed my offerings of cedar and at Og & Magog I received a piece to bring back to Grandmother.  

Shortly after my return I heard Grandmother call asking me to come and see her.  I was asked to bring a friend and was given that friends name.  This wonderful friend has a gift of healing and as soon as the invitation was offered she connected with the grove and prepared for our visit.  And now in 2015 we came to assist with the matrix as a support to a new paradigm needed for the cedars to survive.

Upon our arrival we were asked to reverse my normal routine.  First we were to go to my special sacred spot, drum, and make our offerings.  The Grove whispered its hello and delight in our visit.  Grandmother Cedar chastised me for my reluctance to take more my last visit.  Why was I so stubborn to take what had been offered?  What was this 'belief' in my excuse of gluttony?  Who was I to determine when a gift was enough?  WoW!  She was right.  Who did I think I was to 'know' what was the right amount for a gift?  Why would I put a governor on the outpouring of sacredness?

Traversing through the grove we finally came to Grandmother Cedar.  She had been cut into several pieces so the trail could be cleared.  Her heart still beat as she lay there, holding the interim Grandmother and the matrix of the grove in a supporting love.  She knew as the Grove did that the old ways of holding space upon Earth needed to change.  It could no longer fall upon one.  There was a call now for several groupings of trees to bind together and then each group would hold the next until the matrix became a honeycomb shape and support system.  We were asked to help in setting the matrix and flow.  We were also asked to partake so we could understand the need for this paradigm shift.  

Coming face to face with her once again, I was transported back to last year and my special time with her.  Knowing I was to stay open to her guidance and blessings of the gift of her bark and needles, I pulled my bag out and listened.  Gently taking her bark, needles from the branches that had begun to grow from her fallen trunk, tears flowed as I realized that soon she would be out in the world blessing homes, ceremonial fires, and altars.  I continued until I heard her tell me "Take one piece just for you, my daughter, to remember me by for I won't be here next time you come".  I gently laid the piece of offering I brought from Ireland and Glastonbury, stepping back I turned, my heart saddened yet full, knowing she would be gone when I returned.

Continuing our work it became apparent that each group of three old cedars had around them groups of three much younger trees creating a matrix of 12 that connected to the next 12.  As we worked diligently, several groups of visitors would walk along the trails in the grove, stopping occasionally to chat with us.  The entire time we worked there were no groups of 2 or 5 only the combo of 3, 9, and 12 ~ trees and humans.  Finally we found ourselves back at the opening to the grove facing  a line of male cedars guarding the grove from the highway.  We were instructed to leave them as they were ~ connected to each other but not the grove.  These cedars are the Guardians of the Grove.  This place holds so much for all who visit.  What a blessing to be asked to help.
  

Often times we think we are being respectful by our humility yet there are times when it is only our ego that declares the reasons for our humility.  When I stopped taking the gifts Grandmother Cedar offered last year out of my need to 'not take too much and be disrespectful'  I wasn't able to gift fully to others.  I had to be careful with what I used in my sacred blend and in sharing with others.  Being concerned about 'running out' brought lack to others and myself.  Had I continued to gather more of Grandmother Cedar would be out in the world today.

It is so important to listen closely and not 'read into' or let our ego interfere in our sacred work.  Whether it is in our gathering of sacred offerings, building our connections, or learning + listening from Spirit and our Soul, don't quit when You think it is time.  Stop when all goes quiet and the stillness of the sacred moment assures you that completion has happened.  

This journey we are traversing is filled with opportunities to lengthen and strengthen our connection to our Higher Soul Self and Source.  We are here to learn and grown.  Don't think because you have 'arrived' and completed course after course that you are done learning.  Oh no ~ Beware of that ego trap!  HA, Baba Yaga loves those times.

So keep on keeping on!  Learn, Laugh, and Leap!

The journey continues ~

The Soul Traveler xoxox

Fireside Chat with Crones ~ February

Having decided to change the format of these wonderful chats to the Equinox & Solstice, I found myself missing my monthly creativity.  Today I sat down, communed with spirit and compiled a short video expressing the wisdom, serenity and love of our Elders in Nature.  Enjoy!

~ The Soul Traveler

Chaos + Stillness

There has been some fast moving days over the last 10 days and it seems I have been surrounded by the usual frenzy of anticipated holiday ritual.  Perhaps my involvement in Thanksgiving & Christmas has changed by not having a close family and no children but it seems I don't get caught up in the whirlwind.  No judgement here on others rhythm only an observation of how the energy of the world can trigger each person differently. The bursts of frenzied expressions are not limited to the Holidays only somehow glaringly obvious in those times.  A slight over extension of past news can bring some to a reaction, an additional physical bump from a fellow human, or the longer whine of someone in confusion will bring out reactions that signal our being out of stillness, out of our soul rhythm.  Just as there are different humans, animals, trees, etc., there are just as many different soul rhythms giving rise at any one moment, expressing themselves into the energetic chaos we call life.

Honestly I think it is because I have now given myself permission to feel and live my expression of soul rhythm that the chaos or drama of life doesn't give rise to deeper shadow.  Early in life I was shushed into submission of any burst of energy ‘uncalled’ for in the moment or cajoled out of my quiet solitude during prescribed gatherings.  To be true to myself I did not go quietly into their chaos, always stating the obvious - why?   It is with the acceptance of shadow and light within my soul rhythm that stillness is found and a layer of wrapping is removed.

I have often sought solace behind my front door expressing a sigh of relief from the bustle in the streets.  Even at one point silently praying that dinner guests would wander off into the stillness of the night so I could breathe once again.  It was brought not so gently to my attention during that dinner's silent prayer that perhaps their desire to linger was a compliment to be embraced…. and there was still much to be shared among us.  Waiting for the stillness, the soul rhythm, to appear brought a blossoming of intimacy that would have been missed.

Understanding our need to bask in our soul rhythm is vital to moving along our path AND accepting the need for others to linger longer within our rhythm can bring about a two-fold evolution.  The key is to know you, accept others, and placing healthy boundaries.  

You see each of us have a soul rhythm that is vital to the symphony.  There is a natural still point in each of us.  It is a gift we brought into this experience.  For sure many have wrapped that gift up to the max and may never get all the trimmings removed but that shouldn't matter to us.  If we are truly moving along our soul journey then when the chaotic bumping starts acceptance and reflection will bring you back to still point.  It is our still point that is to be unwrapped, discovered, and shown to the world.  It is not our responsibility to point out to others their need to unwrap and be still.  

Chaos and stillness work hand in hand.  Think of them as the energetic fuel for movement.  Both create the ultimate desire, both are universal, both are expressions of source love.  They both reside within each other.

How can we share our ability for stillness? How can we find and begin the process of unwrapping our still point?  Do we look within each time our still point is set off balance?  Or do we strike out at the item or event that rocked our stillness?  It isn't a grand gesture that is needed, it is a simple recognition that within the walls of this lifetime there is a sacred spot that can set the stillness deeper into our world & the world outside.  What is chaos asking of us?

Think about it as you find yourself rushing about feeling the irritation whether it is on FB or other social media, in the shopping line, at work, or in your precious homes ~ Where is your stillness? Is there a layer asking to be removed?  Namaste 

And the soul journey continues..... ~The Soul Traveller