Tonight a friend stopped in to talk. It wasn’t a chat. He needed to talk.
He spoke about feeling lonely, not alone. He spoke specifically about feeling lonely. The lonely that happens when you make decisions that other’s might not agree on as the best option. The lonely that happens when after 10 minutes no one has texted or called. The lonely that occurs when winter hits and you cannot go outside.
The Lonely ~ the lonely that hits even when you are surrounded by a dozen friends, in the company of your life partner, when you sit in a meeting of peers at work, the lonely that hits when your family doesn’t see you. It is the lonely that happens at birth and arrives to finally meet you at death. It is the lonely that is the ‘curse’ of being human in the current world. Let’s be honest the lonely that has been here for generation after generation. It is the lonely that drives us to kill not only each other but also this planet and its animals. Those animals we are jealous of because they do not know loneliness. The dogs, cats, wolves, deer, eagles, elephants, and other animals that understand aloneness + community does NOT = loneliness.
Right now we are all feeling alone in America. Many can raise their hands high in acknowledgement that NO one has heard them for years. They may never admit they are lonely. They will stand tall + swagger but we can all see past the veneer. This hoopla around our next President isn't the cause only the visible ulcer. This goes far deeper and wider.
Loneliness is personal and universal. We came in alone by not lonely. We will die alone yet it we don’t have to be lonely.
Loneliness is driven by the denial of self value. Our current culture (especially western white culture) does not nurture a whole self identity. It does not understand the value of the connection to our inner self. Because of this it perpetuates the denial of the value of Community as nurturer and the self within that community. The Quakers used the identifiers of Thee and Thou to bring inclusion into the self thus creating the understanding of the value of self within the community. Many religious practices exclude self, deny the value of nurturance, and through the exclusion create a community of loneliness.
Standing Rock exposes the loneliness within our culture. As a cultural phenomenon to the western world, Standing Rock shows how the acceptance of the value of self within a community through ancestral spiritual practices of inclusion, loneliness is removed and courage, integrity, self love, and the ability to value all life is expressed in daily interactions.
We are not all of First Nation blood so what could my friend do to help embrace his loneliness?
There are options available ~ A spiritual practice to quiet the mind and connect the higher self to him. A spiritual practice that allows for interaction between the higher self and him releasing the long held generational beliefs. A spiritual practice that gives value to community.
A willingness to say I no longer want to exclude myself. A willingness to see the pain of loneliness in others, especially those we believe are not lonely.
A clearer understanding of the concept “we create our experiences” and it is within our control to banish or build all aspects of our life.
Finding his ancestral spiritual lineage.
There are many other options available to grasp the loneliness we experience. Each are individual as to their benefit. There is no One Size Fits All. I suggested he try many different avenues to find the right fit. The one that draws him, intrigues him. Intrigue will fuel his desire to embrace his loneliness. His loneliness, when embraced, will bring to the world compassion and right action.
The dark, cold winter is designed for reflection. It doesn’t allow distractions to take our pains away. It refuses to hear the excuses and demands we find the courage to take a stand. Winter is our best ally in forming our convictions. If you can turn and face the adversary in the dark + cold, you can face them in light and ease.
No one is ever alone. There may be times when you feel loneliness. Remember many are here with you right now in this moment. Shine brighter.
Teri ~ The Soul Traveler