the big T ....

WAM BW childs face.jpg

My life hasn't been much different from everyone else's.  It has stories that books are written about, yes, and yet those stories don't define me.  It is often hard for me to really recall all the emotion and drama of most of my life now.  What still comes up are the parts and pieces that I still cling to for identity.  I laughed at myself the other day as I sat for morning prayers begging for focus to continue writing on my book or just finish one of my many projects.  Looking up I noticed I had placed a heart shaped chalk board with the words, "I release my inability to focus to the Universe, love teri" as a tool to help me.  As I sat there totally frustrated, begging Brigid to help with inspiration, a flash of clarity zipped through my mind.  Duh!  Release!  I burst out laughing, threw my hands up, had a V8 moment and released.  Immediately I felt the difference.  I felt the release.  I stood up, bowed in gratitude, poured more coffee and began to write.  I finished two chapters, wrote my e-course, went to yoga, and still had 6 hours before bed. 

Asking for help and then getting out of the way is crucial.  It takes trust.  Trust in your beliefs.  Trust in you.  Trust that your ego doesn't run the show.  How many times have you found yourself asking for help and then hemmed and hawed over the help?  Do you allow your friends to help you?  Do you even ask for help?  What I see so often when a friend refuses to ask for help, is that they don't trust themselves.  I know that sounds odd.  Shouldn't it be they don't trust others?  No actually.  Trusting comes from you first.

Trusting others comes after you learn to trust yourself. 

Trust so often gets buried deep.  It is the first thing that gets challenged.  You can experience its lack the moment you are born or within the first years of your life.  As the veil draws down and your ego blossoms, trust disappears.  Forgetting who you are comes from losing trust. 

As my life unfolded and I journeyed through dark valleys what kept the fire burning to find a way through was my trust.  I trusted that it would end.  I trusted in finding help.  I trusted that the choice I had made would not kill me.  I trusted I KNEW the reason.

I trusted ME.  In trusting me I finally let go of needing a reason for anything in my life.  The ME I trusted was soul and its divine connection to Source.  When trusting others was dashed I trusted me.  I am not talking about pie in the sky trust.  Believe me I can feel when someone who should not be trusted walks into my space.  I have met many a person not worthy of trust.  I trust me and my ability to sense even those who are not to be trusted.  In this process I deepened my connection unfolding who I truly was in the process.

When I find myself conflicted I ask "are you trusting?"  Are you?

xoxox ~ The Soul Traveler