Simplicity

Today is 1/1/14… a new day dawns to remind me that once again I rise to the occasion.  Tis very funny but on this first day of a new year - a Number 8 year for me - I actually did a very simple sacred ritual to usher it in (I generally wait until my birthday to reflect on the year and create a intent for the next year).  I am not big on large expressions of anything…. I always sense the turning point of a large expression from true love, gratitude, awe etc to over emphasis and grandiose ego involvement.   Perhaps it is just me who senses this change but I really don't think I am alone.  Take a moment and watch the next time you are incased in a large expression.  Feel for the moment when it moves from a simple genuine fulfilling sacred moment to one of over emphasis.  Let your body mark that moment and ask your soul to help you to remember, so that when you are expressing it, remains simple and sacred.

Today I spent time sitting quietly in the morning waking to the sun rising to a new day, new year.  I envisioned a light being carried by myself feeling the presence of so many others as I walked gently towards the opening in the clouds.  With each step I whispered my gratitude for opportunities that lay ahead yet discovered, the love and care of my friends and family, for my health, my home, my body and my ability to go deeper into my relationship with soul, spirit, and the divine.  I then sat with this vision allowing my body to feel the sacredness of the stillness, the blessing of the gratitude, and the love of the light. In the quietness of the morning I could feel the expansiveness of the Divine that is expressed through all things, allowing my body to embrace and feel that oneness that holds each of us though out our days.  The expansiveness gave me a color to bring into my awareness - soft luminescent purple.  Allowing this color to envelope me brought closure to the simple sacred ritual for welcoming 2014.

I do not make resolutions.  I learned early that doing so emphasizes all the "things" I perceive as just not so right about me.  Instead I listen quietly for the part of me that would like to speak to the world, a part that has been quiet, or perhaps a part that just wants to be so more present.  Giving voice and recognition to more of me always leads me on an adventurous journey, guaranteed!  For my 2014 journey I asked quietly as I sat drinking my morning tea and was gifted with an electrifying squeal of "Let's carry on with what we have designed these last 30 days of 2013 and see who, what, where, and when it takes us!  It will be such a delightful adventure!"  Before accepting this pronouncement, I scan my body of its willingness to carry on and looking for any reluctance and finally asking my soul, guidance, and Spirit for their input.  I then follow with my sacred ritual to claim this request which allows for full participation of body, mind and soul.

Now it is time to step out into the world.

Welcome 2014 with simplicity and enjoy where ever your journey takes you.

Decide ………..

What a big thing…. To Decide.  To decide what it is you want to be when you grow up or perhaps what to wear, what to eat or who to date?  We grow up being told making decisions should be major events.  Yet somehow we know this really isn’t true.

As toddlers we saw, thought and decided all within a split second.  We ventured forward out of our singular space into a larger space.  We grabbed first one toy and then another never pondering for days on end.  We decided to take our first step on our own and then another.  Someone could argue that it appears a child is debating whether to leave the safety of crawling to begin the adventure of walking but if you watch closely you will see that isn’t the case.  The child is content to move at their pace not sit and ponder for days the next move.  

Every single day we make decisions and some we choose to make more impactful than the decision to take another breath.  Why do we do that, how did we get here and what would happen if we took even the “big” decisions in stride like all the other ones we make every single second?  How can we get to this place of innocence and spontaneous decisions again?

Before the Age of Reason the veil is still very thin and often times completely open for many.  The invisible playmates, clips of wisdom, and spontaneous joy shown by children that can seem daunting to those whose veil is securely intact are everyday examples of a thin veil.  Then as time passes we notice that our children begin to mimic us in ways more than just words.  If you notice our children begin to hesitate in making some of the simplest decisions.  Who to play with, what to answer on the myriad of tests that are now required, hesitation in what to wear and on and on.  I do believe that if we were honest with ourselves a niggling deep inside us that we notice with a bit of whimsy, occurs when our children hesitate in their decision making.  That niggling deep inside is our soul reminding us that it hasn’t left and is within our reach,,,, if only we would open the door,,, just ever so slightly.

Your soul is the connection to the Divine. It is the piece of you that knows without a shadow of doubt that you are Divine.  It is the Christ piece so many strive to attain.  It never left and it will never leave.  We might duct tape the door shut, seal it in hopes that the light that peaks out is diminished, we might camouflage the entrance so our uniqueness is smothered and we are deemed normal and sometimes we may nail it shut with 2x4’s and millions of nails in hopes it goes far, far away never to be seen by us and others again. 

Fortunately, these tactics are not forever, our soul finds help in many forms.  One of the most obvious is nature.  When lost in the woods, we may create a grand story of aloneness, but one moment of pause and BLAM the story has a new twist!  Hark, the many wondrous sounds and sights’ surrounding us confirms that soul has crept through the duct tape.  What about all the children?  We recognize soul within them there is no denying that!  Acts of simple kindness is soul peaking out from within another.  And when it seems that darkness has alighted upon us, there reaching out to us in the form of a helping hand, is soul.  I think the most amazing time is when we finally realize that we have created these affirmations to remind us that we are not separate – we are the Divine, we are soul.

Throughout human history we have ensured that our souls are not lost to us forever.  And yet we still struggle with the divine within us.  I remember the gradual lowering of my veil.  I remember wondering at the age of 8 why the magic was being stolen from me.  I remember feeling lost and all alone the day my dad told me I was too old to hold his hand.  And I remember going out into our backyard to sit under a large elm tree looking up into it and wishing I could go home.  Home to where? I paused only shortly and once again wished to go home to where I was not alone and the magic never ended.  I remember climbing high up into the tree embracing each branch as I climbed higher hoping to reach home.  And then it happened.  I nestled myself close against the trunk of the tree held safely by its branches finally realizing that I was here to stay.  But I was no longer feeling alone.  I felt a warmth grow deep within my heart, the comfort of the tree, and a whisper stirring telling me I would not walk alone ever in this life.  From that moment on, I lived by this motto, “I will not grow up to be like you.  I will never be separate from the trees and rocks as long as I walk upon this land.  I will always listen to that voice that arises from within.” 

This decision at 8 years of age was sorely tested and like the divine it has withstood the tests life would throw down in front of me.  My life experiences with soul has had some very quiet moments, some life saving moments, some holy shit batman moments, and some this way please.  I have stood steadfastly to the direction I wished to follow in hopes of smothering my life force only to be guided gently out of the foray into the meadow.   I have been held ever so gently by my soul as my heart lay shattered in a million pieces at my feet, and with each I have found great joy, strength, and the wisdom to continue. 

To allow our soul to truly enter our place of life helping us to change the story is what transforms you into you.  It is at those times that being us brings peace.  We do not travel this life alone.  We have been so smart in creating others in our life.  There may be times when those around us bring stories we wish were never written and yet soul still speaks within those stories always willing to help us heal those stories and leave them far behind.  It is in traversing our journeys that soul speaks, guides, and yes – grabs us.  Soul is not a complicated experience.  It is a simple expression of daily life.  As the sun rises, soul shines, as the child laughs, soul speaks, as the parent embraces, soul nurtures, and as we give, soul rises. Living from your soul makes decisions, simple and natural.  Decision making from your souls' perspective doesn't require days of pondering, list making, or consternation.  It only requires that you listen, feel, and trust that every decision is made for the greater good of you and all.  Be brave and remove the duct tape, the 2x4's and allow the light to shine through and then out of you.  Allow the veil to thin and embrace the courage and wisdom the resides within you.  

Think back to the mantra of Count your Blessings.  Each time you make that list, you are connecting to your soul.  Each moment you say a quiet prayer of thanks, you just welcomed soul in and those hugs you give are an exchange of soul love not just to the recipient but also to you.  Soul knows no boundaries, no limitations, no prejudice; soul only knows the divinity within each of us.

Take time each day to pause and welcome soul in – it doesn’t have to be upon first rising or the end of the day, let the time be spontaneous, let it be guided by your soul.  Don’t make this Decision driven by Hesitation, let it flow as it did when you were small.  You might just find a miracle.

Xoxo – The Soul Traveler

So many ...

This is a very special time of year for everyone no matter your spiritual leanings.  I have so many memories, so much to be grateful for, and so so many changes coming for me.

I sit here in my beautiful home viewing the mountains outside, the sun shining brightly which for Missoula is a feat this time of year, waiting for the days festivities, and so many thoughts and visions flash before me.

Tomorrow will be the final day of my severance and so officially I will be unemployed.  This is such a bizarre thought.  To not have a "steady" income deposited into my lovely bank account to assist it in staying fat and sassy, to no longer have a bi-weekly reminder that I am a viable and functioning American, to not have to rise each morning and go out into the world to assist others to be their Type A best, to not have my adrenals screaming for no more Stress, and to not measure myself in the Corporate Eye… is to say the least - one hell of a Relief!!!   

Don't get me wrong I have always enjoyed my career about 90% of the time and I most definitely enjoyed everyone I was with M-F 8 to 5pm but I never ever felt like it was a true passionate, fulfilling, jaw dropping, wisdom deliverer.  I got up every single morning because that is what you are supposed to do from 12 - 70 years of age. I know there were days when many co-workers would have preferred me to keep my grumpy self at home.  I also know that over time I had to force myself into going to work.  It became harder and harder as I grew older to find passion in my work.  

I looked out upon everyone I knew to see how they were finding joy in heading into work.  I couldn't find their secret.  

What I found for me was a passion, wisdom, and fulfillment from way outside the 'norm' of occupations.  I found a desire to learn and share in very non-traditional 'schools'.  I found that the more I worked closely with where my Soul wanted me to go the happier, inspired, and eager I became.  Working "overtime" when participating in "soul work" never phased me, time didn't exist.  The 9-5 regimen managed to fit into these times of "soul work".  Over time any desire to climb the ladder, be recognized even remotely, and engage in office politics disappeared.  I no longer defined myself by my career.  I defined myself through my Soul.  I found that what once irritated me… office politics became like a speck of dust I noticed and lightly flicked off me. Recently I might catch a glimpse of it but really never noticed it.  I found myself bringing my soul work into my 9-5 and I started to watch its impact.  

I watched as more people gathered around me to 'just catch up' and others who stayed very far away from me. I watched as the turbulent energy of meeting deadlines literally went around me with many coming in to ask, "how do you do that?'  I listened on my last day of employment when co-workers stopped by to say good bye and ended with "I will miss your caring spirit."  I knew then that my career had to be 'soul work' as that is what fed me and my co-workers.

Where will I be in 2014 from a career standpoint?  I really don't know and honestly I really don't care.  The only requirement I have is it must be soul work, feed me passion, draw wisdom, and create joy for everyone.  So my guess is it will be far from the norm.

As we find ourselves on Christmas Eve looking forward, let us remember that this time is a reminder to us of two people following their hearts, their higher guidance, and their willingness to go against the norm to bring into the world a way of living called 'soul work'.  

Warmest Blessings to you and yours - The Soul Traveler.

Post Thanksgiving Pondering

Yes I should start this with all the things I am thankful for but not today.  Today I want to reflect upon kindness.  What really is kindness and how did I come to know what it meant?

It isn’t what you think. It isn’t small simple Acts.  It is a way of life and comes to you silently in the night.  It comes from you when all that is around you is darkness.

People don’t bring you kindness like you were taught.  Oh no, don’t count on that for true kindness comes from you.  You awaken kindness in others.

When you ask my family what they remember of me as a child they will say how tiny I was, how I delighted in everything, and how kind I was.  Well did it stay with me as I grew up?  Did it come from me when I was competing with a school mate for the top spot in a highly coveted position?  Did it come from me when I lay devastated about a life event?  Did it come from me at the scene of my sons accident?  Did it come from me when I was told, “We have to let you go” from my employment?

I don’t recall stopping and say, I must be kind here, at any of those moments in time.  I can tell you that in those moments, I saw in their eyes a request for me to hold them, to give them permission to succeed, be forgiven, loved, and encouraged.  How could I have read what was in their eyes?  I read it because I have reflected those same needs in my eyes.  I have stood there naked and not received.  I have stood there and realized that I cannot ask of others what I, myself, am not willing to give.

I thank my beautiful wonderful stars that somehow I knew that kindness coupled with laughter would heal a broken heart.  It will encourage a lost soul.  It will stop a war.  

I wasn’t always kind.  When I began too realize that there is hurtfulness in the world, I wasn’t always willing to be kind to my competition or the person who was the cause of my consternation.  I will have to say that not being kind was something I had to learn.  I had to learn that sometimes people hurt you when you are kind to them.  I had to learn that sometimes when you are kind to someone they will still scream and hurt you.  

And then I had to learn that even if they are hurtful to you, kindness is the way to heal your pain and theirs.  I had to learn not to expect anything back when I was kind.  I had to learn that the stories and all the lessons taught to me were wrong.  I had to return to the innocence I knew as a child with the wisdom of my years.

And most importantly I had to listen only to my soul for my guidance and my solace.  I had to live my life from all my wounds, all my mistakes, and all my misunderstandings.  I embraced my soul’s wisdom and kindness and my soul returned me back to ME.  My soul showed me that the kindness that lay deep within me was strengthened by all my life experiences.  It was through those experiences that I could see, feel and understand the stories of everyone I met.  I could see it in the grocery clerk, the postal worker, my family and friends, my co-workers and everyone I passed in the street.  I could see it in me.  I could reach across the aisle to those I would leave behind in my job.  I could be kind to them as I said good-bye.  

When my son was killed I reached across the aisle to the ambulance drivers to thank them for transporting him gently to the morgue.  Watching them tear up and thank me for thanking them, something that they had never experienced, surprised me. I didn’t do this because I am so wonderful but because at that moment I finally realized how difficult their job must be transporting dear ones and that they too must hurt.  I did it because I knew they had been as gentle with him as I would have been.  It was my soul that showed me that in those difficult moments in our life a stranger is also impacted.  When the physician comes to tell the difficult news to a patient and their family, they are feeling the news also.  It is in those difficult moments, in those dark times, that true kindness springs forth from us.  If you take the time to really allow your soul to show you the light within your darkness, kindness will spring forth.  Kindness first given to you by opening to your soul and then from you it will spread out into the world.  

I now understand the saying my father would often recite, “You can catch more with honey”.  I thought he meant sweetness since of course honey is sweet.  No, he meant kindness.  You can draw to yourself all the things you so desperately want in your life with true kindness.  It is from the kindness you share with others that brings others willing to share their kindness.  

As I gathered my belongs on Wednesday from my office I had occupied for a year, I was interrupted by co-workers who stepped cautiously into my space.  Cautious because they did not know what to say or how to reach out to me.  I greeted each of them with a soft gentle smile that came from years of learning to be kind to myself.  And they sighed, their eyes tearing, and they courageously spoke 6 words, "I will miss your caring ways."  There was no bashing of the event or times to come, there was only a sharing of this moment in time where kindness needed to be expressed.  By my willingness to be vulnerable, honest, and kind they were given permission to reciprocate; each of us receiving a multitude of love and courage through a simple act of kindness, an act of acceptance.

Kindness is a simple act that we have so often forgotten. It is not something learned, only remembered.  It is a remembering that comes from loving yourself enough to truly care.  Today and all the days ahead spend time allowing your soul to show you the kindness that has been there for you all along.  Lying deep within you where only you have the key.

XOXOX - T

Opening Day ...

What must it feel like to participate in ‘Opening Day”.  We could ask baseball players, or any athlete for that matter, but really are they the only ones experiencing opening day? 

As I prepare to launch my website The Soul Traveler I wanted to write a catchy blog piece.  I tried and tried but nothing seemed to stick for a post.   Finally after struggling, it came to me, what am I about to embark on?  My travel companion reminded me…..

Opening day is so not reserved for athletes or grand occasions it happens every day!

If you wake and sit quietly you can hear the day open.  It takes its time to move to its dawn.  Watch how the darkness slowly creeps barely inching towards the light.  There are moments when it pauses as though it is deciding just how it wants to open.  It isn’t the same every time.  It may appear that way to us but if you watch, listen, still yourself, and be amazed you will know it is not the same every day.

So how can we reflect the essence of the opening day?  What part of the dawn can we exhibit in our life?

My soul has taught me that each moment is an opening day.  It is filled with fanfare, good music, lot’s to cheer about, and memories to carry. 

It was once very common for me to jump out of bed, hurry to the coffee, struggle to the shower and on and on.  Then one day I stumbled to the kitchen and literally said, “I want to get off this merry-go-round.”  It was an opening day moment. 

It was at that moment my soul took the opportunity to show me how the dawn could be different.  It was then I realized what I had just said was a prayer.  The dawn did change, it did move ever so slowly. It did bring different outcomes daily.  Through conversation with my soul I have learned how to reflect the essence of Opening Day.  To slow down my morning, the rush of my workday, enjoy my evening respite, and relish my day closing.  I have taken courage from the dawn.  I am no longer afraid to sit quietly in the dark waiting for the light because my soul sits beside me and assures me that there is light coming.  I pause to hear the decision the dawn makes as to how it will rise just as I pause to decide how I too will meet the day.  Will I greet with wonder or will I greet with worry?  I converse with my soul to seek the knowledge of how best to greet the day.  My soul whispers much like the dawn whispers to the day guiding me forward to realize the fortunes ahead.  If you watch the dawn, you will see how the dawn and the day are in conversation and neither is the leader in charge, they are co-creating.  Watch closely and you can see the mist begin to rise then after a quick conversation the mist disappears and is replaced by a rush of warm wind leading to a different outcome.  This brings us an unexpected Opening Day.

If you aren’t attentive you will have missed the quick chat where decisions were made to alter the outcome.  When we don’t pause as we move about our day to commune with our soul, we will often miss the opportunity to alter an outcome.  Perhaps the chance to meet someone who could lead us to a new employment opportunity is changed because we decided not to listen to the urging to wait 5 minutes before we headed out for lunch.  The dawn, we think, is here to urge us on to our day.  Perhaps the dawn is here to urge us to pause and watch all the possibilities of our day before striking out.

Remember the Dawn’s example through your day.  Use the example to respond to your family member that insists on being right and ask how would my soul, my dawn respond to them.

The dawn is your soul.  Your soul resides in every aspect of you life.  It is not separate from you and your environment.  It is your environment.  We are magical creators and I marvel at my creations.  The dawn is that daily reminder to me that once again I start anew.  Once again I experience my “Opening Day”.   I have at my fingertips the opportunity to learn, share, and be my soul essence.

Ahhhhh!  Let the travels begin!

Don't hit delete ....

I am working on designing my website. I have hired someone, well not just someone, but the most awesome, intuitive, creative woman with the capacity to help me :-0.  As I have been playing around with some of my ideas I create a section called Journal.  Now this is really my blog space but I like the way journal feels.  It is not abrupt, a four letter word, and something I have not kept!  Sounds like a perfect title besides doesn't everyone want to read everyone's 'journal'?  It might contain fifty shades of grey, right?

Not mine.... ;-)  But it will have 50 shades of grey because life is not Black and White...

As I am "designing" I begin to come up with these incredibly awesome short titles for pieces in my journal.  I save them and go on about my business returning several days later.  Now it has been some time since I visited my website and my brain has fogged over.  Never a good thing with me.  I go in to my site and start playing around.  I decide I wanted to delete the template pictures and add my own.  Well I hit the DELETE button and wham everything is gone... picture and cute catchy phrase.  Shit, shit, shit!!

I have these fantastic moments where stuff just flows.  I know I am so connected with my soul and spirit that what I am writing is so free of any judgement and filled with beauty and love and those phrases where just that.  I was like what happened here.  Checking to make sure I was in the right space for creating, yep I am there, I begin to wonder what is up.  I hear, pick another, so first one up is "don't hit delete"!  Hmmmmmm!!

So what is the message to me in this?  I have a wonderful habit of letting go of things no longer needed, an ability to just close off to people either hurtful or no longer in alignment with me, I hit delete a lot!  When I was younger it really was a natural thing for me to see things were over and just move on and then those moments, and we all have them, when the story of our life began to hurt.  It wasn't just uncomfortable, it hurt!  How I coped with it was to really strengthen my Delete button!  I would find the strength and then "DELETE" and poof people, things, places were gone.  It became my shield against all odds.  I had a dear friend once tell me how uncanny it was that I could just walk away from things and she wondered out loud if she would be one of my Delete friends.  She didn't really paint my ability as something wonderful.  It was more like "you can really cut people out" and it made me look at this ability; this shadow side of me.

I loved it when computers came along and we had the Delete key and then the ultimate - Ctrl, Alt, Del -  This combination became a shaman's tool.  Day really tough, Ctrl, Alt, Del, boss a nuisance CAD, struggling with personal issues, CAD!!  You have the ability to Control the story, Alter the story, and Delete the old story for the new true story.

This ability is really a combination tool for me.  My shadow side can and will walk away from people, places, and things without a moment of pause.  I am not one to argue and plead for things to change for very long.  And the walking away can be an unwillingness to not engage in confrontation.  I do not like yelling, bickering, forcing the other to see your side or win the argument.  So I know when it is time to walk and I go and this isn't always the best solution to the relationship.  I often times don't leave an explanation behind in my dust.  I just go.

Not everyone thinks and solves problems the way I do.  I am a bullet point person.  You whine too much for too long, Delete; you turn down invite after invite too often, Delete; you hurt me or my family, Delete; you are no longer beneficial to our wellbeing and happiness, Delete.  It is not because I am impatient.  It is because I feel and sense deep down and am present to the ebb and flow of life.  I know that often times our paths will cross again if we are to continue.  I know that so much of our life is done alone and must be experienced alone.  I know that we often stop our growth and capacity to expand our ability to love when we hang around way after the dance has ended.  I don't walk to hurt, I walk because I have heard 'The time is now' and I listen to my guidance even when others think I am delusional and need psychiatric help; even dear family members.

Am I brave. Nope!  I just follow a still small voice that has stood beside me, laughed with me, healed me, and allowed me to see the me that I am.  My soul has been with me through every up and down and detour.  Every joy and tear drenched moment.  My soul knows the story of my life in its truest form.  My soul knows that I love so deeply, I relish the sparkle in everyone's eyes, and to hurt another is so painful for me.

So the next time you see someone use the Delete....  Remember if you don't hit delete you can't move forward. 

1000 Awesome ...

Who knew if you started counting those times that you were caught off guard by the ordinary that toes and fingers would not be enough?

I decided that if I really was so taken by life that I should start taking stock.  Was there just one thing that drew me, was it only in the morning, what about when I wanted to take a Calgon bath to the stars, or was I just blowing smoke up my head?

Nope.  It didn't show up in a pattern, only when I had had enough, or when I was in contemplation.  It showed up when I least expected it.  I would giggle, or tear up and I actually drive my office mate insane.

It does include those moments when the hummingbird sits quietly on his perch beside you, when the sun sinks deep past the mountains leaving gorgeous pink striations, and the quietness of the snow falling for its first winter show.

It also shows up in the calmness as you step outside the workplace, the click of your key into the front door lock after a trip, the sound of the train as it moves through the town, and the tick-tock of the clock as you sit and type.

I do relish everything in my life.  I relish those times I come home with a list of things to accomplish before 9pm and I find myself sitting on the couch surfing the web with the list being put off one more night.  It gives me a moment to give myself permission to not be Type A, a label I firmly believe is false, permission to welcome the shadow side of me that rebels against established expectations, permission to once again release my past parochial discipline, and permission to allow me to give up the fight.  I have found the more there is NO reaction to my not accomplishing the "list" the list isn't necessary.  My evening isn't mapped out, my time doesn't run out, and I have managed to have 1000 awesome moments by letting my life unfold as it wants right beside that ordinary tasks.

Don't get me wrong I still accomplish items that are important to me, ticking them off as I move from them to the next, but I no longer have any expectations about timelines, perfection, or even meeting the initial design.  If I make a list it is because I have found that with walking in two worlds I can loose track of the seasoning needed for my recipe when distracted by a non-ordinary discovery.   By not having expectations, I discover the joy in the moment, the essence of this time in life, this nano-second that so often goes unnoticed.  It was when I gave myself permission to stop the madness that I began to grasp the concept of Being in the Now.  This concept, honestly, baffled the hell out of me.  It was always explained, in my perception, in lofty terms.  It was not until I began to heal and embrace all of my light and shadow that I could comprehend Being in the Now.  The comprehension came in layers and I took opportunities from my work day to incorporate how BITN felt. The discovery of sitting working on a project to find hours had moved on was exactly Being in the Now.

So the essence of life for me is the 1000 awesome discovered moments that eluded me because the story I had been writing closed them off.  And now they are front and center not to be shoved aside but running towards me to become the Ahhhh

And with the wind comes .....

Saturday night - and I find myself drawn to the computer - as I am sitting here typing I listen to the giggles and screams of grade schoolers visiting my neighbor downstairs.  Such fun! Teasing her as they call her grandmother. The weather begins to change to the threat of a storm, much like last night and I wonder will we be the recipients of the storm tonight or be spared again?  I am still learning how to read the weather here.  In Colorado I grew up learning about the weather.  It was important to know it so you weren't caught unawares and could avoid danger. At the same time it was more than just sticking your hand out to see if it got wet.  It became a contemplation, a conversation, and sometimes a communion.

Even now as I type I have turned the music off that was quietly playing so I can hear the sound of the wind as it passes through the trees.  The pines have a song of freshness, the cottonwoods their brittle leaves add the staccato, the poplar pulls you into its whisper as the leaves show you their underside, their willingness to be vulnerable.  Some trees stand silently allowing the others their performance and then they all join together.  Twirling, moving, bowing, touching each other, giving the wind freedom.  Giving the wind a voice.  There is the rush and the pause, the rush and the pause just before the burst.  How I love the metaphor!  They show me the rhythm they experience is the same as mine.  Some times when I am busy being present to whatever is happening in the moment for me, my path is crossed by what I call a needling or issue.  They generally appear when my ego is sparked by something it thinks needs to take center stage.  Ego, as wind rushes up to my focus, rustling my calm demeanor causing me to respond.  Is it a twirl and bend or is it a resistance and crack?  As the tree has choices in its response to the wind, so do I.  My soul has shown me that moving with the wind rather than resisting the issue creates a rhythm that allows the weather to appear and move on.  Embracing the wind or moving with it allows me to decipher the essence of the issue.  Am I really upset about the driver who just pulled out in front of me or is there a deeper story here? Is it only about not being seen or is there something deeper?   Going deeper with my soul always takes me to the burst of release.

What else am I learning from watching the weather?  Is it only about issues?  What about the shared movement of the trees?  For today might the metaphor be about dancing together enjoying the moment and the shared experience.  How is that present in my life?  The family below eating dinner and sharing tall tales of feats of courage - giggling together when caught. And myself enjoying their play and togetherness feeling their communal energy as it moves around us.

Or how about the days when it is sweltering (relatively speaking the West's version of sweltering on a scale of 1-10 in the South is a -20) but sweltering none the less.  What you hope for is rain .... and when you see that there is nary a cloud within a 1000 miles ...."could we just have a breeze please?"   What benefit is a breeze?  It can come so slowly and then move past in a wisp.  As you are sweltering with the issue at hand what benefit is it to create a breeze?  Perhaps a moment to pause, feel some relief and maybe allow a new perspective.  Perhaps a moment to be still and not fret.  Or perhaps the realization that just the request for a breeze gave you the nudge to let go of the story.

Wind in all its forms is a change maker.  The gall force winds of a hurricane don't tiptoe in, they come raging in, grabbing your attention and you know your life is about to change!  But the breeze can trick you into thinking 'ah there is nothing to worry about' and within a split second you life just changed.

I love the wind

Forever and a day ....

So I have tried to post, write, spew, anything for the past 6 months... and as you can see NADA!

So what gives?  Nothing really gave I just had to walk through releasing the known to get to here.  It hasn't been a cake walk, more like a merry-go-round, repeat, repeat, repeat.  Kind of like a constant rinse cycle.  Get the dirt out, add fresh water, spin, spin and spin till you are certain the dirt is out only to find another spot.  So back you go again.

Till finally it dawned me I was afraid of letting go of the familiar!  The pain in my arse, non-fulfilling familiar.  Go figure.  Well I did and I still found myself reacting to my dear friends new endeavors, feeling that nasty hit you get from your ego that says a myriad of things that are not true.  I really was happy for them but I knew by my reaction that my lovely ego had taken the lead.  This wasn't ok with me but it was a pattern long-held.

So what to do?  When in doubt I journey, sometimes knowing I just may get my arse kicked by my guides, Yes even the angelic one....  But off I went expecting the shake up and instead getting a moment with them deep in reflection sitting in my special place looking out onto the Cosmos, breathing, breathing, and just feeling.  Flashes of past ways, times when I wrote daily, sometimes several times a day, times of ridicule which when they passed I scooped up the Soul piece cradling it into me, times of just looking, watching, knowing.  Eventually the journey came to an end; an end only for that moment.  Thanking my guides I returned to my room checking to see if a miracle had happened.  Had I changed?  Had I acquired volumes of words to share with everyone?

Nope.  I was still here being me.  A miracle? why perhaps since I am back at it this morning ;-)

What had happened is I found that my ego could go back into the back seat even after it had been driving for what seemed ages.  That my soul knows best for me, that it never leaves, only sits quietly holding me in the most profound love and presence.  Allowing me to grow, slip-slide, and dance forward.  My soul is my best friend, is me in all my ecstasy, is willing to let go of the familiar, and is always, always there for me.

So writing again? Yes, I am willing and ready to share my thoughts, my struggles, my accomplishments, my quiet moments, my true travels with my soul.  It is a big step, one that has been long in coming, one that means far more than the story tells, one that required a story to be rewritten, one that places me out, out in the wild, wild world where the wild things roam, a place that welcomes me, a place that wants me, a place that is home to me and so many dear people.

I write now because it is who I am.  A storyteller.  I take what is and make it what it really is.  Don't ask me how, don't get into my head, just listen to the story and allow.

I am not some wise guru or someone to worship.  I am you, I am me, I am soul.

This mornings story comes today because I stopped hedging my bets.  I took the pattern and twisted it up.  I literally called into work stating I had a headache.  More like a body ache.  (Now listen I am not telling you to call in sick every day you want to change a pattern - you can change patterns on weekends).  I waited and listened and when I felt that moment when my mind and body were relaxed I got up, poured a cup of coffee, sat outside quietly, spied my special hummingbird drinking from his feeder and knew the moment was ripe.  I grabbed my literally brand new laptop (its purchase is another story for another day) and started.  Once this is completed for the hour, I will walk my morning walk, shower, dress, and head into work. I have gratitude for the job that pays and tends to all the necessities of daily life, I no longer view it as the piece that stops me from "what I want to do really", and I will use every non-filled moment at work to write.  If Harry Potter can be written on scraps of paper, hell I can write a blog!

For some reason, I want to end today with Peace Out.  Gotta be a story in that .....

What brings me soul moments....

A friend recently posted a lovely FB picture with short paragraph called, Random Moments.  It got me thinking.  What are my random moments... Looking out into the dark night to the immense sky filled with twinkling stars as evening prayers are said, morning coffee in the quiet darkness knowing the deer still sleep outside my window, hearing the wind chime ringing in the evening wind as I drift off to sleep.. <3  Glancing out my office window to the hills across the street to spot the deer playing along the trail to where ever it is they go all in a city of 65000 people..Blessed!

And then I thought that is a canned response.  Not that those moments aren't soul moments just that they have become the standard.  What about this morning when I looked out the kitchen window way past sunrise, late for me, a spied a chubby brown Buddha sitting on the corner of the shed looking at me creating a triangle from St. Francis to himself to me....knowing that I never put a Buddha there, thinking perhaps my friend who had mowed the lawn left me a gift.  After sitting with the unexplained gift for a minute finally realizing that the chubby little Buddha was a chubby little squirrel.  Totally out of character sitting quietly not moving a muscle.  Now that's a soul moment.

Beginnings.....duh!

So I have wanted to write or should I say I have been dragged to write.  And write about what?  I have 2 stories started, a really rough draft of a screenplay, and a 'here's my thoughts on soul' lesson book sitting in various places/boxes around my house. Now that is what I call beginnings....what makes one think they have something to write about?  what makes me think I can write? what makes me create my first blog?

Soul...that's what!  That illusive voice that pushes you to ask yourself why..  That simply marvelous joy, bliss, seeing what was there all along....Soul.

I won't promise this will always be first rate prose or poetry.  And I will promise it will always be my soul travels.  The how, why, what and because of my journey from the 'not me' to the 'yes me'.  The journey from ego to an ego that is no longer in the driver seat.  Why? Because I am a Soul Traveler and I have a path that goes on forever!

Hello world!

Welcome to a soul traveler *teri! This is my very first ever blog post.  And I did it LOL. Next up???  Who knows only the shadow do.....  See you around