Life is filled with so many turning points. They can be driven by us and sometimes we perceive them to be thrown at us.

Many years ago I stopped perceiving them as out of my control and sent by others. I have also stopped using change, closure, and endings. Those 3 simple words carry a heavy dose of societal fear. I don't believe that the true essence of these words is fear. No, we have created stories around these words that have driven us for many centuries deeper into fear.

Turning points still hold an essence of movement forward, a grace of accomplishment, and a base of self creation. This word carries an elegance of dance waiting to be performed. It holds within it beauty, presence, and mystery.

This week holds a particular turning point for me. This week I complete the final year of an apprenticeship. Three years ago I was gifted a teacher to support me in unlocking a deeper sense of my true essence. The first year was filled with an immersion into a grounded contemporary shamanic apprenticeship where I discovered a deeper understanding of my innate connection to this ancient modality blended with modern perspective and tools. I relished in the guidance and unfoldment always excited for more. The 2nd year was a practicum. Although it was 4 months in actual interaction it did not come up short. I was challenged to bring out into the world what my first year unlocked. There were many days of struggle to create the essence of leaning into my style and signature. Through it all was my teacher, Robin Rice, holding the space from a distance. This year I was a gifted with helping her to support a group of apprentices under her guidance while continuing my learning. Spanish immersion was the phrase used to describe the teaching, sharing, and growth. It lived up to its title. As the months unfolded it became very clear how expertly she had taken me from our first encounter, through the pathways, and back to my original teacher ~ Spirit. I had come full circle in the spiral always moving up and forward.

The gratitude that flows as I reflect upon this journey will carry me deeper and further than I have gone. I bow in honor of who she is to the world, to me and to herself. A woman who has heard the call of her soul and answered time and time again.

In life we are gifted people who bring to us without question pieces of our essence and hold us as we unwrap and embrace them. They stand holding no judgement of our choices and too long held stories. Always patient they wrap us in our essence we, ourselves, have yet to discover.

With this turning point being held out in front of me, I step gently ready to continue forward, welcoming the adventure, and relishing those I will meet along the way. I carry within me a deeper knowledge of our communal journeys, my commitment to my community, my delight in the mystery around me, and the courage to answer the call of my soul over and over again. My life will be different. It has no choice because I am different. My life will be more. I am more.

Will a teacher cross my path again, perhaps?

For now I embark upon a stronger knowing of my true essence bringing it out into the world, sharing all that is being asked by my soul and Spirit to continue giving to my community, family, and friends.

To Turning Points xoxo

The Soul Traveler

The other day I reflected on the changes going on in my life and how I use simple rituals to move through the fears. I also spoke about several online classes I took in preparation for moving my dreams, my passions forward. Those classes brought with them their own set of fears, needs, and ah ha moments.

Life has always brought to me many of the same concerns, fears, and needs that others experience. And to some it seems like I am just sailing down the river… well shit sherlock not always true. I have acquired a keen sense of what can ail me in certain junctions or scenarios. I acquired this sense by really spending time getting to know my still small voice - My Soul.

The writing class I am taking has a piece of daily work called morning pages. It is really the trash can where all those thoughts, lies, negative beliefs go so that the real creativity floats to the top. Well what also shows up for the trash can are those moments in your life where you may have had soul loss. And on one day this week up sprang the imagine of me trying desperately to spit out an A&W order I wanted to place. Now I am not 8 years old placing this order, I am a licensed teenage driver. I discovered a profound fear of talking into mechanical devices when I needed to acquire a service, advise, find information or just plan order a burger during puberty. I was deathly afraid of calling someone and appearing like I did not know what I was talking about or how to ask a question of them. This then led to a fear of talking into the speaker to acquire a simple lunch order. If I was talking directly to the person,,,,,, not one bit of fear. I eventually worked through the fear without the help of my laughing brothers but apparently something was still there.

This fear still was lying deep within my psyche. Is it really a fear of "oh my god I have to talk to a stranger"? Hell no there isn't a stranger in my life. It is really the fear of not being able to physically see what they think of me. Sounds silly, I know. But a serious block to creativity and …. shit life for that matter!

For those who know me, there is so very little I am not willing to do. I quit a well paying job and moved to follow my dreams, train people, hold workshops, offer one/one sessions, work customer service like it has never been worked, and generally know exactly how to welcome and ease others into pretty scary places. You see back then it wasn't the fear of the unknown it was the fear of showing how much I may not know and being laughed at… something I am sure most of us have experienced. Growing up in a very competitive home with expectations of being brighter than your sibling for someone sensitive built many defenses, fears, and blocks. So now this piece that I thought had been covered in previous deep work is up front and center asking me to see it.

Being a shamanic practitioner I looked to see if it would require deep work and surprisingly I found that the deep work had been done. What was needed was an embracing and welcoming of this young woman. This young woman needed a voice and recognition of her sensitivity and needs. Puberty brings with it so many changes that can baffle and challenge you. Having no where to go or no one to seek guidance adds layers that eventually need to be cleared. All the prior healing work I had done and the deep relationship with my soul combined with a bloodhounds nose, I can quickly and smoothly recognize the issue, source the solution, embrace it, and welcome the next adventure. Traveling through my life with my soul leading brings balance, joy, fulfillment and awe. The ingredients to a stellar life where the right answers aren't needed.

I gave this young woman a voice with my morning pages. I gave her an embrace and told her there was no reason to know everything. I told her how what I knew I knew with all my heart and this life isn't a test to see who comes out with the most A's. My life is about joy, experience, heart, and fun. I told her the race never ends until our last breath so whatever we want to learn we have plenty of time. Embracing her I assured her there is no shame in not knowing the answer. And finally I told her the joy is in discovering the question. And then ….. she talked…..

The Soul Traveler