My life is changing once again. On a scale of 1-10 this is a change with which I am familiar so it ranks low on the scale. I am so different now that this experience is being created from a deeper level, a shamanic level, a higher soul self, and a universal level. This isn't a typical 8-5 existence anymore. This is work on a soul level.
As this knowledge and understanding was unveiling itself to me, in the midsts of confusion, doubts, and emotions, I journeyed to quell the storm that seemed to want to rise from deep within. I wasn't looking to stop the storm I was looking for the direction through the midsts and to quiet the rushing sounds so I could hear the words that would soothe me. It was a quick journey filled with trepidation as the fears mounted in my body only to be calmed by the warming embrace of the Universe as these words filled my head.
"Your soul is after the growth not the money and Source will fill in where the money might appear to be thin. If your desire is to live from your soul then you need to feed it and trust that you have never been dropped. They need you as much as you will need them each day. You are not to sit upon the mountain but to bring the mountain to them. There is so much yet to be seen by your eyes, to be understood by your mind, to be felt by your body that will bring you deeper into your path, your Beingness. You cannot perceive all that is about but you can perceive the depth of love present for you at this moment. We understand the fretting, the human illusions where you co-exist, we know this is but part of being a human and we KNOW that your soul desires the ultimate expression and will not be denied. Seek us to support your human needs and allow us to keep you in the present. We know your human desires and we know that you have come to understand the deeper expression." I left the journey with the first two sentences emblazoned upon tongue.
I called and accepted employment with the Department of Developmental Disabilities for the state of Montana. Employment that would not be meeting the minimum monthly amount for me to 'make ends meet'. It was a $.25 an hour short. Yet it pulled me to it the first day of the interviews with the Tibetan Prayer flags adorning the reception room, the Ojo de Dios hanging in the front windows, the spontaneous laughter erupting during the interview, the truly 'casual' dress code, the honesty of needs, and yes there is great retirement and vacation benefits. I accepted the position trusting the words I had heard spoken and within five minutes of the acceptance I was told of a 5% rate increase in November which took me above my minimum. I laughed understanding that I do not see the entire picture. I chortled knowing my guidance, the Universe and my soul were 'knuckle stamping' each other. (Some may think I hold issues around money and that is not the case as I have always had exactly what I need when I need it. I am a Pisces astrologically where money is not the ultimate desire and my numerology dictates monetary success so instinctually I balance.)
This is only a glimpse of the 3rd dimensional experience. The capture of being present to the moment, understanding the capable aspects of Self, and willingness to trust unabashedly would reveal perceived hidden mapping of my journey. This mapping lay hidden because I had yet to acquire all the tools to read the maps. As I willingly dove deeper into my true essence, tools were revealed to help me read my changing maps. Yes, there are many maps drawn for our journeys which are switched and changed based on decisions and non-decisions. Just like maps for each state and the many countries on earth we are gifted with individual compact maps. They are overlaid on our list of attainments adjusting as we peel and dive deeper. Like the surveyor we adjust as the terrain changes.
Early in my awakening, I wanted so much to no longer 'work' in the world. Instead I desired spending my days in earnest pursuit of the deeper meanings of life and sharing those discoveries with others in workshops, in other words, sitting upon the mountain. I tried several times leaving employment to build a practice and each time the funding dried up requiring me to return to the workplace. Many hours have been spent in reflection seeking the 'reason' for not attaining enough financial support and non-fulfillment of my desires. Casting doubts upon my abilities, yet seeing very clearly the impact my return to the world was having on those around me, I fretted and concluded I needed to just try harder to build a practice. This thinking allowed the ego to implant the concept that I was not a fully realized soul if I couldn't build a practice outside of the standard employment.
These last months of unemployment have sped quickly by taking me once again to the state of return. There was no massive booming of a practice, there was a steady increase, a nourishing of soul, a clearing of patterns and the final realization that my soul path, my soul agreement, my most impactful place was in the work game. It was there that the most seeds were planted, the deeper touching of soul to soul, the quiet shamanic support of community to be given, and where the Universe filled my soul path. My ego was wrong. I am a fully realized soul in each moment no matter if it is in standard employment or a private practice. Shaking off the perceived 'right way' to be a spiritual being takes courage, clarity of truth, and a willingness to go against the flow. Discarding this illusion creates freedom.
Not all of us get to leave the work world and build private practices. Many of us are most impactful in the challenging world of constant human interaction. We change the course of someone by being in an 8-5 job. Having a human experience as a spiritual being entails living within the experience of non-awaken souls. As you create the clients, the spiritual life you so deeply desire, being smack dab in the midst of the perceived chaos brings a wealth of empathy, compassion and an energetic signature of 'you know how they feel' that is invaluable and life changing. Mother Teresa didn't sit in the convent and serve her community. She lived among them. The world needs all of us. Those who are not in the world and those who are in the world. Find value in where Spirit has you. Go about knowing that by being you, the true and deep you, no matter what the scenery is, has value undiscovered and life-changing. We can't all leave the world. As you struggle within the environment of the workplace, seek the truth of the situation and trust that your soul is being fed and serving the greater whole. Create a workplace without struggle, create a private practice within your corporate, non-profit, retail, or government job.
I no longer reflect in a wanting state of where I am going or why I am some where. I reflect now on how I can show up as the true me. Where is my ego still leading the way, why is this moment challenging, how can I best serve all of us, and what makes my heart sing? These are the questions I review. How life appears doesn't matter. How life impacts does. Rushing about creates chaos, walking softly blooms love, being present for every moment creates opportunity.
Taking the essence of being into the world of constant doing sets the ripples of change into motion. Finding your practice within the world of employment leads everyone further along their soul path even when it appears otherwise. We are not here to create scenarios. We are here to feed our souls, uncover the illusion of separation, and walk the cosmic, divine, christed Essence into this lifetime.
If you are happy being you, you will be happy in any work you do.
And the journey continues.....
The Soul Traveler