northern shamanism

Eventually You Have to Go Back and Get it ................ and other musings

At the ancient age of 6 I would wander outdoors early and not return until hunger struck me down.  There was far too many familiar faces often hidden from others for me to visit and chat with to endure the indoors and siblings.  I would build replicas of ancient cities in the sandbox chatting to the multitudes that filled the houses, creating soups and brews from the plants and feathers around me making sure to offer them to the sky above, my dog, and those living in places far, far away.  Some days I could be found squawking out a tune in my squeaky voice of lost love and home long missed, crafting necklaces of seeds, feathers, and hollowed bones, leaving a very pretty plate when my dinner bell sounded for those who would be passing through.

Occasionally my pesky brother would come to chide me it was time to give it all up.  "What you are doing, he said, is never going to work here."  Let's climb the trees I begged at least we can get closer and perhaps they will hear us.  In solidarity for his crazy sister, we climbed higher and higher into the trees.  The fun eventually turned to spying on the people in the passing cars and our other siblings sent to find us.  

My nighttime dreams were filled with places not known here and starred me as a Joan of Arc Star Faery come to help.  I would wished that Peter Pan would arrive and take me back to his Tinkerbell except there was a BIG thing wrong with her.  Star Faeries don't look like her nor do they flitter around aimlessly.  I was after all only a silly 6 year old with a vivid imagination.

Since mid June I have been experiencing a heavy dose of what I call 'the crabbies'.  You know those small irritations that surface to prick at your sanity and your peace like the driver going the speed limit after 5pm?  I am not one to dismiss any disruption to my daily nirvana.  My hip, lower back and pelvis had decided to hold a grand flair up in my honor which signaled ~ the storm is about to hit!  I hit the airwaves to search for insight.  The body needed to be heard after 40 years of carrying a long hidden pain, my mind needed a distraction to allow for the story to be told, my emotions needed expression but not during rush hour, for god sake, and really I needed to blend, meld, brew all that ancient wisdom I once relished in back up to the surface and come full circle.  Time for the full Joan of Arc Star Faery to come out to stay, not the half assed 'almost' me.

Relying on proven traditional awakening techniques I struggled to make the meld permanent.  I made headway for sure and saw the twinkling of long hidden knowledge but it would not come up, stay, and pour forth.  I knew there was an issue that I needed support in clearing.  It was an issue that wasn't responding to my usual support network.  Feeling the 'need' to go home I knew this was a quantum leap coming to the surface.  No longer satisfied with my usual tools, I found myself pushing to make that long overdue sacred connection.

Reaching out to my divine star connection, tears filling my sacred eyes, I asked to be gifted the tool that would take me back to the treasure trove of my sacred ancient wisdom.  The wisdom held securely by a small delicate 6-year old girl who knew that anything crossing her path was sacred, loving, and in need of their own remembering, the wisdom that may not free this planet completely but it would offer care, nourishment, and a recognition of the elegance of the human heart.  And not just a little bit of that ancient knowledge but the whole treasure chest ~ because why go after just a spoonful of nourishment?

Last evening I participated with 4 other magnificent women in a northern shamanic vision quest led by a wonderful Vitki.  This isn't just a coincidence that through the ancient north traditions my vision has been cleared.  My ancestral roots like most western europeans comes from the celtic + viking traditions.  It wasn't just a luck of the draw that I spent 2 weeks in Ireland and England last May.  It was the call of the delicate, optimistic, pain-in-the-ass 6 year old sprite come to claim her star birth rite.

There are so many ways back to finding our true self.  The one that brings you joy even in the midsts of your human trials is your key.  I know my home is in the stars and that I live here now.  Finally claiming the ancient traditions of the stars brings a passion long since subdued back into my daily life.  My ancestral knowledge helps me to meld it all together.  It supports the creation of knowledge, play, love, and nourishment that is a kaleidoscope of all wisdom ~ ancient, current, earth, + star.

Take the road you are most afraid to walk.  It is on that road your truth lies waiting.  Who you are is for you to discover and claim.  Loving every aspect whether it be called light or dark is what it is all about this time around.  Close your ears to the world screaming out the latest and greatest.  Open your heart to the murmurings of those not seen ~ they remember you, your naked you, your sacred, playful, wise you.  

Let's take that step and see where it takes us.  Let's brew that cup of nourishment and drink it down.  Every last drop! 

I'll be seeing you around the next star - The Soul Traveler xoxoxoo