This is not going to be a soft + fuzzy musing. This may not even be a well written piece.
This is going to be a short, deep, truthful tale of one soul.
We all hold deep dark secrets. Not all of us will be called to share those secrets. But ....And a definite But ....We will all want to release + heal + grow from our secrets.
In my pre-teen years I experienced molestation and sexual abuse. These events took over my formative years as a young blossoming woman. They were at the hands of someone very close and older. These events did not stop until I stopped them the fall of my senior year. They spanned 6 years.
These events were to shape my life for over 30 years. These events led me to believe that sex and love was about control, manipulation, violence and fear.
My sexuality was warped into a grayness that set the stage for a 10 year marriage of emotional + sexual abuse, 20-years of one-off sexual relationships of subversion + emptiness, all marked by an inability to fill a sacred yearning for loving self-expression.
Under the guise of "I love you like you have never been loved." perversion ran deep and culminated in spousal rape, rough sex, and emptiness. Most importantly the sex wasn't the only abuse. The entire marriage was abusive and controlling. Nothing was visible to the outside world. The abuse didn't lead to violence until I asked for a divorce and stepped away from the control. The abuse was emotional, manipulative + unfailing.
Glamorizing sexual defiance, glorified mistreatment, emotional abusive control in the name of love is NOT love. Allowing ourselves to fantasize about sex using manipulation, aggression, self-flaggation is not LOVE no matter which way you look at it. Violent Sex is Hate, Power + Control. Violent sex comes from a deep dark sickness that fills this world. Sex in these relationships ties you into the abuse outside of the act. It is a slippery slope.
Fifty Shades of Grey is not a nurturing healthy love being expressed into the world. It is about ABUSE plain and simple.
I can tell you being turned on by this book or any other item that displays violence, control, or non-nurturing is not healthy. For years I could only be aroused by picturing violence towards me or with me. I sought help from many avenues. I found the most help with one. My shamanic path brought forth the deepest healing. I had to be willing to go after this grey aspect of my life. I had to be willing to go deep into the darkness of my life and soul. I had to be willing to be completely Honest with myself. I had to learn to love all aspects of myself - dark & light. I had to stop the abuse against me.
I found my voice ~ NO more violence against ME! No more violence against women, children, + men!
Love comes from nurturing. Love does NOT come from violence, control, deviant behavior. Each time you read, laugh, pass along songs, books, articles, or commit actions by yourself or others you are creating and perpetuating this back into the world. It must stop with us!
I am not writing this to garner your sympathy. I am writing this to share how blind we have become to the violence against others. Our children and their children deserve a world where healthy, nurturing love is displayed for them to see + learn to bring into their life. You deserve this world of healthy relationships.
Domestic violence is rampant in the world. Violence against women is rampant in the world. Violence against men is rampant in this world. Violence against children is rampant in this world. We need to stop this Now.
I may lose friends from this. So be it.
Today I am calling you out. If you read this garbage, watch this garbage, commit these acts ~ YOU are part of the problem. Seek help! Put the brakes on ~ love yourself. If you find yourself in a violent situation ~ Get Out Now! I did. You can.
With deepest love + understanding ~ The Soul Traveler