I'm so happy you have enjoyed the travelogue postings. I know that the energy of those pictures hold a sacred energy not only for you but also for me.
This undertaking while brave has also been a leap of faith for me. I'm in a world I used to only visit, dream about the next trip, and fantasize a romantic opportunity. Yet how did I get here to this moment in time? How can you get to your moment in time?
Eighteen years ago I came here out of desperation. Divorced 5 years, having just experienced the death of my son, and lost to what I thought was my spiritual path + a dark night of soul I wouldn't wish on anyone I discovered that a dream, a land, and trauma could bring healing if allowed.
Yes, Ireland is amazing beyond comprehension, yet so can Mexico, Japan, France, Norway, downtown Boston, and the Badlands be amazing and transformative. It's not only the land that leads to transformation + realized dreams. All of these desires hinge on our willingness to look ourselves straight in the eyes, heal + own our trauma, embrace our darkness, bring forth our true + honest desires, and LISTEN to our deeper soul guidance.
It requires an honest assessment of our wants that have been suppressed, willingness to own our shit, and the ability to embrace your bodies desires. Now I'm not talking about carnal desires, although they shouldn't be dismissed or overly awarded, I'm talking about our reluctance to Get In Our Bodies and feel this life. The land we walk upon can only support us as deep as we are in our bodies. One can flit across this lifetime, barely feeling the pain + joy, all one wants. If your desire is to truly embody your moment in time then it is best to feel all of the emotions, pain, and ways in which you sabotage yourself. It may not seem like an easy road, it may seem unsurmountable, it may seem like perhaps next life, and all of those Seems are valid. They are also easily discarded.
I've owned many of those Seems. I've also discarded many of them only to have other Seems appear. Even now, living here on my soul land, I have them arise in moments I wish they'd just dither away. The bottom line is the Seems will never disappear. The right now will never arrive, the perfect setting will never arrive, and it's ok if you hang around just like you are now.
There is no scorecard like we've been told. There is only you bringing into your life what you desire, then tossing it aside while you bring what you truly deep down soul desire. Life has its societal timelines. We all have children to raise, parents we care for, jobs to fill, debt to be erased, and mortgages that strangle. We all also have a soul that guides (at times it may appear our soul doesn't understand 3D reality timelines but if we connect deeper it does), perceptions that are false, trauma to heal, and ample room to balance life + our soul path.
What I am trying to say is - this isn't an either or game.
Life is a weaving. It's snags and missed stitches. It's a beautiful tapestry filled with all your desires, missteps, bottomed out moments, achievements seen + unseen, and fuck it I don't want to go this deep moments.
I honestly don't perceive what I have just done moving here to Ireland as mind blowing. Maybe I should. Maybe I should really let this decision rock my socks. Maybe I should own this all the way down into my bones. I haven't. In some part of me it just seems normal. I must make sure I'm not denying myself the thrill, the joy, the painful, ecstatic feeling of OMG because that self expression was squashed at age eight.
Hmmm perhaps I've got a Seems. See we all have them and we all have the ability to see them, own them, and send them on their way.
May you always feel deep.
May you always love you.
May you always give others a pass on their Seems. May you one day realize there is no timeline.
May you always leap.
May your Seems just be Seems and never deterrents.